Before surgery
- Allow time for them to come to terms with what is going to happen.
It can be too much to have to retell and share the news with everyone (friends and/ or family members). When a (new) tumor is found they may want to tell you about it but might not be able to tell you more as the specialists and surgeons still need to agree on how to go forward. Asking too many questions like when the surgery will be or what they plan to do when the person with CNC doesn’t have that information yet, can sometimes be too much to bear.
The first couple days after surgery
- Visiting them, give them time to get in touch with you
While in hospital after cardiac surgery or other surgeries, ask them beforehand if they want you to visit. They may say ‘no’… don’t be offended. Sometimes right after surgery you’re tired, you feel weak and are struggling. If you’re feeling rubbish, you really don’t want someone coming and sitting for an hour.
- Trying to reach them via text message or calling them
Don’t expect them to respond or want to talk to you very long. The first couple of days all your body really wants to do is to sleep and heal. At first they may literally say: ‘Hi, I’m ok, bye’ and that will tire them out.
- If they want you to bring something, they will ask for it.
Sometimes after major surgery your tastebuds can take awhile to adjust and foods you usually enjoyed might taste funny.
Be sure to check with them if they have any cravings and ask if they’re even allowed certain foods – as they might be on a strict diet right after surgery – before bringing in anything that they might not even be able to enjoy.